Sometimes I know who I am, and what my purpose it, but today is not that day. Today, I wonder what on earth I am doing on this Earth, because I look at what I spend my energies on, and can’t see a focus.
I see clients in my clinic, and help them bring balance to their mind, body, heart and soul. I do this 2-3 days a week.
I make herbal and aromatherapy products, with the aim of supporting clients/customers in their health and wellbeing. I do this 1 day a week.
I live on a farm with my husband and 3 year-old, where we grow our own vegetables, herbs and seasonal fruit, and have our own chickens and ducks. I run a hops business with my husband too, mainly the accounting and administration work. When we have excess produce in season, I make jams, pickles, chutneys and sauces to sell.
Once a month, I run a fermentation workshop, where I teach people how to make their own fermented foods, and incorporate those foods into their daily life and diet. I maintain my own different ferments at home too.
And recently, I have begun making reusable food wraps so I could reduce the use of cling wrap and single-use plastic in my home, and by working with a friend, we are creating a little business to reuse, recycle and reduce fabrics we find at opshops into waxed wraps and reusable produce bags.
Then there is the part of me that wants to study more – herbalism, cosmetic formulation, more healing modalities.
And the underlying guilt which whispers, and sometimes yell, at me to spend more time with my family and friends.
And somewhere in between, I need to look after my own self-care, practising what I teach to my clients in caring for their mind, body, heart and soul.
My limitless Soul wants to see, do, experience, learn (re-learn) so much, my human ego wants it NOW. Human ego, and a lifetime of social, cultural and family messages telling me to focus on ONE thing, and be the Genius in that, be the Huge Amazing Success Story in that ONE thing.
Somewhere in between all that I have to remember that there is a greater picture, of which I may get a glimpse sometimes but more often that not, I am operating on Faith that all that I am doing makes sense, has a purpose; that *I* have a Purpose.
And I do. We all do. But the Journey to See, Hear, Smell, Touch, Taste, and FEEL our Purpose can be a long, meandering, backtracking, lane-jumping, doubling-up journey that misleads you to believe “I’m Here”, but then go “Haha, still more travelling and unpeeling of layers to do!”
It’s a Journey to Expand your Soul, and in that expansion, you get to know your True Self, and DECIDE your Purpose.